Can This Be Right? (a song/poem from my past)

When you look into my eyes

I wish you’d realize…

Wish you’d understand the meaning.

Or hear the song my heart is singing.

Stuck on repeat…

Leading me to believe..

Maybe this really is all I could need.

 

But still I fight it back.

Fight back the urge

Bite back the words.

Cause the power they hold could kill

Cutting deeper still…

 

So tell me.. baby,

can this be right?

 

I feel my heart sink

Deeper into wrinkled sheets

Covered in linen cloth

As I lay in bed tonight..

Tell me,

Can this be right?

 

I remember midnight kisses

So tender and delicious

Under those starry skies…

Oh to taste your breath again…

So sweet, so sweet your breath.

Leaving each kiss with me longing for the next.

None sweeter then the rest.

Do you remember too?

Do you miss it too?

 

Damn baby.

Can this be right?

 

Longing to reach out

Grab your hand.

But not doing so..

I know that I cant.

 

But knowing doesn’t make it easier

Knowing doesn’t cure the pain

Knowing doesn’t kill the flame.

 

So tell me baby…

Can this be right?

To have to fight.

Fight to breathe.

Fight to blink.

Fight to simply try not to think.

 

Tell me my dear,

tell me my sweet…

 

Can this, can this

oh can this be right?

 

Cause it doesn’t feel right to me…

no no.. it doesn’t feel right to me.

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Take a Step Back

Family: I am thankful that Zander likes going to the library. He enjoys looking at books so much, and he even tries so hard to read to his little sister.

 

Life: I am really thankful to have my upcoming two days off be with Josh. It feels like we really don’t have a lot of time together, so any chance we get is pretty awesome. =)

 

Work: I am thankful that I almost done with my Kitchen Manager stuff already. I really thought it was gonna be a lot harder.

 

 

Picture Perfect

Family: Madison and I. I have a feeling this little girl will be a bit of trouble someday.

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Nature: This is where we took our wedding photos. I am so lucky to live around such beautiful places.

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Random: This is my cat Razzle. She was Zander’s first best friend, and Lexi’s personal chew toy. But she puts up with the kids AND the dog rather well.

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A To Look Forward To List

I have several plans involving my family for the rest of this year. Several plans that are actually possible for once in my life!! Not saying they will all happen, but here are a few of things I am really hoping work out.

  1. Camping trip(Maybe the big 4th of July trip with the family! Can’t wait to let Zander play outside in the dirt all day!)
  2. A week at the coast(hopefully this one will involve Betsy and the girls)
  3. Days at Eagle Island (I am pretty excited to watch Zander learn how to swim)\
  4. Carnival (ZANDER IS OLD ENOUGH FOR THE RIDES NOW! WHOOO HOO!)
  5. Trip to the Zoo (The kiddos got to go once, but I think Zander would enjoy it so much more now)
  6. Camp out in the backyard
  7. Lazy summer days.

 

 

 And now a note from Zander:

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\’;[lkfdarghjkjfdxaadsgfszxxdfvggfvl.;//jkagyhre3we4dwqssdgfv       cccccccccfdddddezxxfbvdfczswebggfhjbsfgcsrsd`Aaa

Changes are coming.

Due to the increasing difficulty to find a prompt that inspires me, I am changing Mondays to Monday Musings. (Another great idea from Betsy!) Here goes the beginning of a new weekly tradition:

 

It’s that time of year at my place of employment. We are getting busier and its time for assistant managers to do their PRs.(Performance Reviews) This is somewhat new for me as I am rather new to being an assistant…. Although technically I am now a Department Manager… the whole mess is actually quite annoying and confusing, so I won’t bother you with all the details of the boring back story. The point here is writing my own PR really forces me to take a step back and assess myself according to the skills of being a leader.

Number 1: Communicates Effectively and Honestly.

This is something that I consider a strength of mine. But, I do realize now that there are some areas I need to work on. I have discovered I have become rather defensive with constructive criticism and/or coaching. Part of communicating effectively is also applied to me as well. All that aside though, I would never turn a concern away, and when it comes to someone asking for my attention, I don’t hesitate to give them my full attention. (Carey doesn’t count, I always continue working when him and I are talking, because there is never a GOOD TIME for either of us.) BE HERE NOW.

Number 2: Develops Crew and Managers:

I am getting there. I recently had an opportunity to coach a fellow manager and I passed it right by due to frustrations. I have to be a role model and help others get to where they need to be. I can’t complain about never having a strong enough team if I don’t do everything in my power to help develop the team I dream of. Will there be difficulties? Sure. Will my anger get the best of me sometimes? Probably, but I need to learn to take a few breaths, clear my head, and then take hold of the coaching opportunity that has been put in front of me. There is a lot more to this area, but most of it wouldn’t make a ton of sense to those that do not work in my store, so I will leave this here.

Number 3: Supports Change:

Change. It’s scary. But without change there would never be any improvements. Not all change is a bad thing, and I am fully aware of this. So I usually do my best to support change in anyway I can. Area to work on: STOP BEING SKEPTICAL of new ideas…. I’ll get there, it’ll just take some change.(see what I did there???)

Number 4: Plans Beyond the Shift:

In theory this sounds fantastic. Imagine it this way: You get in a car crash, after all the necessary steps are taken, you stop and look back at the situation. What caused it? Could it have been avoided? What can you do differently in the future to not run into this problem again? And then you apply all your WONDERFUL realizations. But in all honesty, does this sound like it would work? I think it goes more like this. “DANG IT! That’s what I get for texting and driving.” -Doesn’t text and drive for the next two weeks, then starts up again when the memory isn’t as fresh in your mind.- My problem isn’t so much planning beyond the shift, as remembering to plan beyond the shift. But what is it they say?? It takes 21 days to build a habit? Keep truckin’ on, girl.

Number 5: Builds Teamwork:

No matter what anyone says, I stand strong on this. I am one of the strongest supporters for teamwork within our store. I am the one constantly fighting to get fair treatment across the board, when days get rough I am the first to say thank you to all those who helped out, and do what I can to show them how much they are appreciated. I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to pull my hair out doing schedules because I just can’t figure out how to keep everyone happy. The thing is, we need our team. We cannot do it without them, and they need to know that. As Ray Kroc once said, “None of us is as good as all of us.”

Number 6: Influences By Example:

I need to work on this one. You know that whole, “do what I say, not what I do?” Ya, I rely on that one a little TOO heavily. But there are some things I hold strong to. I refuse to become that manager who sits in the office all day. I expect my crew to work their butts off, and they deserve the same from me. So no matter how much time I need, or how much work I have to get done, I will take care of my customers and my store first. I will never hesitate to jump in and help when it is needed, and THAT is one example I hope I never fail to set.

Number 7: Puts the Customer First:

Definitely. Period, end of story. Really it all comes down to this. Without customers, we have nothing. Less customers means less money which means less labor allotted which means less hours to schedule to crew which equals to HORRIBLE DAYS at work .Been there, done that. Now if only we could figure out a way to ensure this happens every single second of every single day. An area of opportunity in our store for sure, but hopefully not for long.

Number 8: Organizes the Work:

I try, I really do. But this says it the best:

Men: if you ever wanna know what a woman's mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2,857 tabs open. All. The. Time.

 

NUFF SAID.

 

All in all, we all have areas we need to improve the important part is ARE YOU WILLING? I WANT to be a better leader. I WANT to be a stronger asset to my team. I WANT to be a good at my job. I won’t give up, but I may occasionally have to scream into a pillow. I’m sure you understand. (It’s amazing how well all of this also relates to my life as a Mom. If only we could get a raise for being good at that, huh?)

Lose a Day or Two

Slow down you crazy child,
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while.
It’s alright, you can afford to lose a day or two….

This one is actually a song lyric from Vienna by Billy Joel, but Josh and I have been discussing the need of a vacation and the fact that we actually can AFFORD to take one. This line always got to me because I feel like I can’t disappear for awhile. I have too many responsibilities, and in all honesty I feel bad if I don’t answer my phone when work calls on my days off. It’s part of who I am, and something I think is actually a good trait to have. The catch is, you can care but you gotta know when too much is too much. Burning myself out won’t do anyone any good, and I have to find that fine line somehow. I gotta tell myself… “you can afford to lose a day or two…” but maybe I will start with an hour or two, eh?

Tomorrow is looking good

We got big plans for tomorrow. We are gonna take the kids to the kids fair at Idaho Expo. (http://www.kidsfairboise.com/)

I’m excited to take the kids to go do something as a family, and I am hoping their will be some animals for Zander to see, that is his latest obsession. I will be sure to take some pictures, and probably use them for my family Tuesday post. We will see.

And then Betsy is gonna babysit for us so Josh can have his belated Valentine’s date night. We will start off with dinner at Olive Garden or Outback(he hasn’t decided yet) And then the rest of the night will begin! I am pretty excited for this, I have been planning it for awhile. Can’t say too much though, Josh reads this blog and I don’t wanna ruin the surprise!

And as for today, we have a few hours off together till Josh ahs to go to work, so Imma get off and go spend some time with my fantastic family!