7 Things to 7 People

Josh: Go listen to “Giving Me A Chance” (Gotye). It pretty much sums up a lot perfectly. ♪You know I never wanna let you down, it cuts me up to see you sad.♪ I feel like out of the never ending to-do list, you often fall at the end of it. Which isn’t fair to you, you ARE NOT my last priority. You matter. You’re my husband. I really wanna focus on giving you more time, more energy, more ME. So let’s sit down and figure out the best way to do this. I love you, and I wanna make sure I show it every day.

Anonymous: The lyrics to “Dear Enemy” (The Exies) says this better than I ever could. I’m leaving this person unnamed because it is not about hurting anyone. It’s about letting some things of my chest and not bottling up all the anger. What I can assure you is this: if you are reading this, it is NOT about you. I promise. p.s thank you for showing me all the things not to become.

Mariesa: I know you saw the link I posted to the friendship blog. You reposted it. When I posted the link I had you in mind. I know I have that kind of friend in you, and it’s nice to have. You somehow manage to balance that accepting friendship role with constantly driving me to wanna improve myself. You give me encouragement, an ear to complain to and a safe place to be in when I just need some company. I look up to you and I aim to be this kind of friend to you as well. No matter how long we may go without talking or seeing each other because of our crazy, busy loves, I’m positive we’ll stay friends.

Betsy: I haven’t really known what to say to you in light of recent events. I feel so useless and completely void of anything that could possibly help you. All I can say is this: You are not alone. You have support, you have love, you have God. And although it may not be what you want to hear, CRY! I may not have really known your mom, but from everything I have heard she was fantastic (no doubt here, I mean she raised you, and look at how wonderful you are.). Crying for her, missing her, grieving for her is all in her honor. Let it out, fall apart, GRIEVE! You can worry about picking up the pieces a little later, for now you will make it. You will never stop missing her, but you never really should. You can do this Betsy, and I will be here for you whenever you need.

Nikki- Listen Linda….

I hate how difficult life is for you right now. It seems wrong that so many hardships should be thrown at somebody so genuinely good. I know I haven’t known you for long, but that doesn’t change my opinion. You just need to remember: “courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying I will try again tomorrow.” (Mary Anne Radmacher) It is okay to cry, it is okay to hurt, okay to feel defeated. The important part is that at the end of it all you find the strength to pick yourself back up and make it through. It is that strength that I see in you. For all the times you have said, ” I can’t do this,” or “I give up,” or even “Imma murder (insert name) in the face!” you never do. And that is why I know you will be a good mom to Adele. You have fight in you Nikki, never let anyone beat that out of you.

My Crew: I know work sucks right now. I know it doesn’t do much to help, but it could be worse. I wish I could fix all the problems at our store, beat some sense into all those who mistreat you. I wish I could make the world a little more fair, a little less sucky, but I can’t. What I hope is that I can eventually show you that work can be fun. It was when I was a crew member and I really wanna get us back to that. You all deserve that. Until then, keep hanging in there. Despite how you may feel, you ARE appreciated. I promise.

My Kids: I love you so much more than I could ever put into words. More than I could ever show. (even when you pull ALL the keys off my laptop and I can’t get the spacebar to work half the time now….) YOU COME FIRST! Never, ever doubt that. I hope you never have any reason to feel you don’t, but if you do I am sorry… and know it isn’t true. I will never be a perfect mom, but I promise you this: I will do the best I can with what I have. I will be a GOOD parent. I will make mistakes, but I will apologize and learn from them. But most of all I promise this: I will NEVER stop loving you.

Updates on the Kiddos

My, oh my the kids are growing up WAY too fast.

Kyrie is obsessed with her brother and loves to play whatever he is playing (which drives him CRAZY!) She thinks every animal either says “moo” or “arf” and will randomly start acting like a dog, down to barking out the window. She loves playing dress up, patty cake and driving mom crazy. Oh wait, that last one isn’t a real game. She has a signature dance move that kinda makes her look like a chicken and her best friend is our dog Lexi. Every stuffed animal is still a “baby”, and she has chosen a “blankie” that must go everywhere she sleeps. She learned how to kiss, but after a day of obsession she doesn’t really like it anymore. Can’t believe she will be two in April. Where did the time go?

Zander talks non stop and asks for a hug whenever we leave the house. He is obsessed with tractors, monster trucks and trains. He still fights potty training, but loves to ask to use the potty at 2 am, or any other equally inconvenient time. He has a new found love for coloring and stickers that makes his Mommy very proud. He loves to sing Old McDonald and will even tell us which animal to use next. He has developed a terrible habit of waking up between 4 am and 8 am and knocking on our door till we let hi crawl in bed with him. (I do have to admit, I kinda like this on occasion.)

My kids don’t play so well together usually, but when they do, the sound of both of them giggling melts my heart. Kyrie looks up to Zander so much, and I’m sure he will develop a grudging love for her someday. =) Love watching them grow up, but sure wish they would slow down a bit.

Catching up on Photo A Day Challenge for May: Days 12-18

Day 12: A Close Up

Day 13: In Your Bag

There is SOOO much more in my bag, but here is a sneak peak. My nametag and tie for work, allergy medicine (thank goodness), energy pills (for the nights I close), my glasses cleaning kit, sweet pea spray, my makeup bag of essentials (eyeliner, mascara, pencil sharpener, babylips and eyelash curler), my wallet, my card holder, my Burt’s Bees and my “manicure” kit (when I chew on my fingernails I don’t stop, so this is to help it).

Day 14:  Something You Are Reading

I actually just finished this book, but I loved it even if the ending did leave a lot of questions. They are a few playlists in here I plan to check out.

Day 15: Happiness

I love that these kids have their Nana. She is so wonderful and I only wish they could see her more often.

Day 16: Morning

These two are literally my alarm clock. They decide when I get up, and aside from Josh laying next to me, they are the first faces I see in the morning!

Day 17: Water

I am not one to take nature shots, so this is the best I got for water.

Day 18: Something You Bought

A new Smashbook!

10 on 10

Well I am entirely a day behind… well technically 2 days behind now, but after this post I am all caught up!

 

Free Friday

Imma make 2 lists. 5 things I am excited about, and 5 things I am worried about.

AND GO:

List One: Excitement

1. My vacation, in case you couldn’t tell from all my posts.
2. Nana coming down to visit.
3. The older kids to be outta school so we can see them more.
4. Our first trip to Eagle Island, I hope Mariesa, Alex and Gannon are able to go.
5. Tax returns. If they ever get here that is.

List Two: Worries

1. My mom is in the hospital for the second time, cirrhosis of the liver. She is getting better… but still not good.
2. Lexi, our lab, is acting pretty sick tonight. Not eating, listless… sad to see.
3. Starting potty training for Zander. Thinking maybe during my vacation.
4. Work tomorrow… here’s to hoping my talk with Caleb(my boss’ boss) goes smooth.
5. My recent constant snacking and sitting around the house habit.

May Photo A Day Challenge: Day 9

Daily Routine. Not really sure how to take a picture of a routine, but this is as close as I will get. Work is an ever constant, time consuming part of my life. No, this post does not mean work comes before my family, it means I am a working Mama, I balance both. However, I spend an average of close to 50 hours a week at work, so I figured it would be a good place to start for daily routines. So this is how it usually goes. I wake up, tired from not sleeping enough, get ready for work [generally in 5 to 10 minutes because I hit snooze too many times, unless it is a good day, then I REALLY get ready.] and head out the door. Most times I do not get to see my kids before I go to work, and I rarely get to see my husband either. Then, I work all day, hope for a REAL break that does not involve working on schedules, reading my ISP messages or discussing a problem with another manager, and that DOES involve eating, “relaxing” [as much as you can in a 20 minute break where you have to jam in phone call home, eating, bathroom and breathing for five minutes], time for a good phone call to Josh and COFFEE. There will never be enough coffee. My shift ends, I usually stay another hour or so because we are busy, or I scheduled an interview, or schedules aren’t done, or someone called in, or, or ,or…. the list goes on and on. When I finally get home I might have a few hours at the max with Josh if it is a night he works, and a few more with my kids before they have to go to bed. In these few hours there is dinner, playtime, maybe a movie to please Zander and generally some lay on the ground and play with the kids time. And if I REALLY have my mommy act together, there may even be a bath in there. In order to fight off the mommy guilt, I try to not get on my computer until my kids are in bed, or 20 minutes before while they are calming down. SO after they are down and out, I blog, check my facebook, fuel my window shopping addiction at Zulily [with occasional purchases] and then go to bed way later than I shoulda. I wake up, tired from not enough sleep… and you know the rest. Just start from the beginning.

Thankful Thursday

Life: I am thankful to have such an understanding and loving husband. My mom is pretty sick, and there is a chance we will be making a trip back to my hometown to see her. My husband was onboard with the idea without hesitation and even convinced me to not feel guilty about the possibility of calling into work. He always stands behind me and I am so lucky to have that in a partner.

Family: Zander is such a helper. All the time he is doing whatever he can to help us out with any task he can think of. Last night he even reminded me after I put him to bed that we forgot to brush his teeth. He is so sweet, and Mommy is proud of her little helper.

Work: VACATION!!!!! In a few days I will be going on my first ever REAL vacation. A paid 7 days of to do nothing. Plus Nana will be coming down to visit too! It all worked out so well, and I cannot explain how excited I am to have time off of work.

#100HappyDays: Day 42

I love cuddling with my kiddos. I know someday soon neither of them will wanna sit on Mama’s lap or cuddle on the couch, so I will take it while I can.

Oops! A Slightly Late 10 on Tuesday

1. Work kinda sucked a little more than usual. It was teacher appreciation night and it was a little crazy.
2. I honestly think I will never get sick of Blue October’s Sway Album. It has been in my radio for a week now.
3. I feel bad that our babysitter only ended up being here for about 2 hours, but whatcha gonna do?
4. I’m as entertained WATCHING my kids play with a cardboard box, as they are PLAYING with it.
5. Glad Josh had a class and didn’t have to work overnight.
6. I think I am obsessed with educational toys for my children. I love getting them things that teach letters or numbers or colors.
7. I could really use a karaoke night. Out or in, I don’t really care.
8. I don’t think the mouse that Maddie caught is going to make it, but we are gonna set it free tomorrow if it does.
9. I need to work on my Wreck This Journal more.
10. I hate getting off work so late, makes me just wanna come home and go to bed.

Wordless Wednesday

This is my first free Wordless Wednesday of May. I had certain guidelines for my past Wednesdays, but I’ve decided to give myself a little freedom here!!

Watching these two grow up together, fight and learn to play WITH each other, just makes my heart melt. Seeing Zander give Kyrie a toy, or hearing Kyrie giggle at Zander jumping over my legs, watching them play in a box together… all of this just makes me so happy. A love between siblings is a beautiful thing, and watching it blossom between these two is possibly one of my favorite parts of mommyhood. =)

Zander wasn’t sure what to do with this “thing” we put in his lap.

He quickly became interested, and anytime she would cry, he would bring us her blanket or bottle.

Before his sister could crawl (and therefore get his toys), Zander thought she was the best thing ever!

The day I looked back and saw Zander holding Kyrie’s hand with this big smile on his face… I was wiping away tears. Sentimental mommy moment.

They are quickly becoming friends, although they still have their moments.

Watching them play in this box together over the past few days has been endlessly entertaining. I can’t believe how many pictures and videos I have taken.